BOYWIFE WANTED

Living alone and having to go grocery shopping has made me thirst for traditional gender roles like nothing else. A combination of my fantastically low standards and slovenly disposition has left my eating habits and room a wreck, and I need a slim-waisted skirt wearing softboy to come into my life and save me from myself.

Since thats never gonna happen with my current financial situation and general antisociality, here is a collection of hearty bachelor recipies for all of my fellow tradboihusbands out there.

A blurry photo of a generic tylnol bottle

tylenol pfor brebkast :D

On a semi-related note, when I ran this bit past one of my friends, they said that they took 25 tylenols a DAY for like two weeks on thier parents advice and "[thier] blood has never been the same since"

an apple core bitten in half

I love eating apple cores. Not for the tangy spice, not for the beutifull lil star in the middle, not for slowly increasing my cyanide poisoning tolerance so when the IRS tries it I go Fidel on they asses, but for the stuble glance of fear that I sometimes get when I bite it cleanly in half after they thought I was finally done chomping

A girthy carrot

We see people eating fruits like apples and bananas whole, but why not tubers? carrots are durable, nutritious, make you hear better in the quiet, and give your jaw a real workout. Its like free Mewing

a cart of tofu covered in garlic chilli sauce

Want a protien-filled tofu scramble breakfast, but don't have time to scramble anything? Simple! Tofu is edible raw, so just don't cook it. Cover it in your favorite sauce and eat it out of the handy provided container!

a tortilla wrapped around brown sugar, rasins, peanut butter

Burritos are a classic for those looking for a cheep treat to eat on the street, but what if you don't have that cheese rice or beans pinto? Introducing: PB&J Burritos! but what if you don't have any J either? Substitute brown sugar and rasins! yum!

Yes they are all going to be like this get ready